Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2016 16:47:57 GMT
ooc: oh dear god....
Hi everyone! Dallypool here. Now, I know you’re probably wondering, Dallas where have you been since Deathcore Wrestling closed? Well, I’ll tell you. I’ve been touring the world as a motivational speaker while my sister rots away in jail. You all probably think that is cruel but really it’s the best weight loss regimen she could have ever stumbled upon. Even better, it’s your tax dollars that are paying for it! I find it nice when the peasants can do something for their courageous queen. And she is courageous! It takes a lot of inner fortitude to recognize you have a problem with food and go to the extent of getting arrested to deal with that problem. My sister… she’s the greatest woman I've ever known that isn’t my mother. Or Adele.
Enough about Arianny, though. I’m here to answer some of the questions you sent in to Frederiks third-cousins uncles ex wife’s dog. Large in Las Vegas asks the following question: Dallypool, my husband hasn’t paid very much attention to me in last year and i’m looking to get it on this weekend. I was wondering, do I look good in this dress? Well, Large in Las Vegas, I’ll be honest with you. After looking at the picture you submitted with your question I have to wonder if you just sit at the end of a donut conveyor and shovel those glazed treats down your gullet. When you put leggings on, your ass should not look like the surface of the moon, or like it’s a design for an over sized golf ball. If I was your husband I would be at home drinking a gallon of bleach right this very second to avoid having to look at you again. Seriously. Starving children in Ethiopia could live off of your carcass for the next 60 years.
Next question. Oh this is a good one. Wally from Washington wants to know what he needs to do to stop his wife from sleeping with their large African American neighbor. Well, Wally. I hate to tell you this but once you go black… you’re ruined forever. Your best bet is to go down to the local thrift store, spend your weeks paycheck on the entire collection of Richard Simmons DVD’s, and sweat yourself into being the most stereotypical gay man the world has ever seen. Your wife is never coming back to you. I can tell you from personal experience the effect that good dick can have on your life.
Frederik and I are going to answer one more question today and it comes from Betsy in Boston. Much like our friend Large in Las Vegas, Betsy sent a photo in with her question and she wants to know if there’s something odd looking about her punani. Well, let’s have a look seEOOOHHHHkayyyy. Betsy. Sweetheart. There’s procedures to take care of situations like that. Frederik is going to get you in touch with a very talented cosmetic surgeon. Ask him for information about labia lasering. And this doesn’t just go for you, Betsy, but for all of the ladies out there. Take care of your curtains. Nobody wants to go clam hunting and be able to cover their ears with… you.
That’s all for this week friends! Frederik and I will be back soon to answer more of your questions! As always, send your words of encouragement and your checks to Chattanooga Municipal Correctional Facility and address them to Marina Arianny Carter Blake.
Until next time!
Hi everyone! Dallypool here. Now, I know you’re probably wondering, Dallas where have you been since Deathcore Wrestling closed? Well, I’ll tell you. I’ve been touring the world as a motivational speaker while my sister rots away in jail. You all probably think that is cruel but really it’s the best weight loss regimen she could have ever stumbled upon. Even better, it’s your tax dollars that are paying for it! I find it nice when the peasants can do something for their courageous queen. And she is courageous! It takes a lot of inner fortitude to recognize you have a problem with food and go to the extent of getting arrested to deal with that problem. My sister… she’s the greatest woman I've ever known that isn’t my mother. Or Adele.
Enough about Arianny, though. I’m here to answer some of the questions you sent in to Frederiks third-cousins uncles ex wife’s dog. Large in Las Vegas asks the following question: Dallypool, my husband hasn’t paid very much attention to me in last year and i’m looking to get it on this weekend. I was wondering, do I look good in this dress? Well, Large in Las Vegas, I’ll be honest with you. After looking at the picture you submitted with your question I have to wonder if you just sit at the end of a donut conveyor and shovel those glazed treats down your gullet. When you put leggings on, your ass should not look like the surface of the moon, or like it’s a design for an over sized golf ball. If I was your husband I would be at home drinking a gallon of bleach right this very second to avoid having to look at you again. Seriously. Starving children in Ethiopia could live off of your carcass for the next 60 years.
Next question. Oh this is a good one. Wally from Washington wants to know what he needs to do to stop his wife from sleeping with their large African American neighbor. Well, Wally. I hate to tell you this but once you go black… you’re ruined forever. Your best bet is to go down to the local thrift store, spend your weeks paycheck on the entire collection of Richard Simmons DVD’s, and sweat yourself into being the most stereotypical gay man the world has ever seen. Your wife is never coming back to you. I can tell you from personal experience the effect that good dick can have on your life.
Frederik and I are going to answer one more question today and it comes from Betsy in Boston. Much like our friend Large in Las Vegas, Betsy sent a photo in with her question and she wants to know if there’s something odd looking about her punani. Well, let’s have a look seEOOOHHHHkayyyy. Betsy. Sweetheart. There’s procedures to take care of situations like that. Frederik is going to get you in touch with a very talented cosmetic surgeon. Ask him for information about labia lasering. And this doesn’t just go for you, Betsy, but for all of the ladies out there. Take care of your curtains. Nobody wants to go clam hunting and be able to cover their ears with… you.
That’s all for this week friends! Frederik and I will be back soon to answer more of your questions! As always, send your words of encouragement and your checks to Chattanooga Municipal Correctional Facility and address them to Marina Arianny Carter Blake.
Until next time!
